January. This means that the excuse to eat too many sweets is over, and it’s time to start thinking about organizing for taxes. Yuck! However, it is the month of my birthday, AND the birth of NancyTellsAll.com one year ago, so I have a lot to be thankful for. I want to start out this New Year by saying thank you. I am so grateful to all of you for following my blog every week, and for supporting me with your feedback, encouragement, and helping me to get the word out to more readers by ‘liking’ it to Facebook, and sharing via Twitter and e-mails.
I would also like to take this moment to welcome a large group of new people who recently signed up to follow NancyTellsAll! A big shout out to you and a thank you for welcoming me into your Inbox! I hope you have some kind of positive take-away each week, and if you have any thoughts or comments, please do so at the bottom of each post! Also, feel free to contact me at nancy@nancytellsall.com with any questions, thoughts or suggestions.
This week’s article was published January 4th on PurposeFairy.com so if you have read it already, my apologies for the rerun! I hope you will all enjoy it enough to ‘Like’ it here on NancyTellsAll (below the article), and also on the PurposeFairy link above.
As we go through life, there are many things we learn. I have also come to realize that there are also things we should UNlearn!….
4 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn
“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
Growing up we learn many basics of life including: We can’t always have our way (never liked that one), we need to share (actually found that fun), and Thanksgiving comes before Christmas/Chanukah (I wish someone would tell the people in charge of advertising that having Christmas trees up before we eat turkey is not ok!).
When we’re young we learn a lot without even realizing it, without even trying. We witness how the people closest to us think, behave, and react. Some of the lessons we learn are very beneficial to us, and others, not so much. The latter are the ones to be aware of. These are the ones that need to be rewired, so they can be unlearned.
It takes time for lessons to become ingrained in the brain, and unlearning them can be quite the challenge. What we have learned over the years has been drilled into us, and cemented in with repetition. This process secures the hard wiring that creates our behaviors and beliefs.
Below are four beliefs we inadvertently learn that get my vote to top the ‘Unlearn This’ list:
1. If I__________, what will people think?
Who cares?! I’m sorry, but if we’re not hurting anyone, we all deserve to live a life that makes us happy. Our time here on earth is a gift and we shouldn’t feel any responsibility to live it according to what other people think.
That being said, we must understand that our actions do affect others. We all make choices and must live with the consequences of those choices, which may mean being criticized by others or losing certain relationships. What’s important is that we live in integrity.
2. I don’t want to let anyone down, so I basically never say no. (You know who you are!)
This is yet another way that we allow other people to take priority over what may be best for us. Some of us are on people-pleasing autopilot, which makes it easy to crash and burn without notice. Exhaustion, resentment toward others and passive-aggressive behavior are only three examples of resulting debris. To prevent this from happening, don’t live your life to please others! Learn how to have boundary lines. If you don’t want to spend time with someone, don’t. You don’t always have to be available. And put the cell phone down!
Here’s a concept: Please yourself first! P.S. It’s also OK to let others please you!
3. I feel I have to be prepared for anything so I sometimes worry about what might happen.
There’s a great saying: “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good.” This is so true! The irony is that by worrying about what might happen, we’re not only missing the good in our life, but we are draining ourselves of the energy and strength we’d need if something did happen. What will be will be. We do our best to be safe and healthy, and that is the extent of our control. So stop. Rewire. Put a new chip in. Whatever it takes to blow out the old programming!
4. I’ve heard that the past equals the future.
No. Not true. Well, ok, we know when we leave ice cream out, it melts. It melted before so we know it will melt again. But as it relates to personal success, no. If that were the case, then Churchill, Edison, Lincoln, Einstein, Ford, and Macy would have given up. When we have setbacks or ‘failures,’ or experiences of not being good at something, it doesn’t mean we can’t do better the next time; it likely means we need to change how we think. Instead of focusing on what didn’t happen, have a positive mindset! If you’ve struggled with losing weight, stopping smoking, making more money, or living the life of your dreams, try again! Don’t make excuses to avoid pushing your limits!
No matter how old you are, it is never too late to unlearn your lessons!
What is it that you need to unlearn? I’d be curious to hear your thoughts/comments about what behavior or habits you have trouble changing. It would be great to share and help others who have the same challenges! Start a dialog by commenting below!
